Wednesday 30 July 2008

My Bug, My Sister´s Locust, and Queen Victoria´s Knickers

I hate insect. I mean I don´t mind if there some outdoor. Some I like. Outdoor. As bees, bumblebees, and butterflies. Some I don´t mind. Outdoor. As flies, bugs, and ants. Some I hate. Indoor or Outdoor, doesn´t matter. As wasps, horseflies, mosquitos, spiders and midges (remains me spiders).
So if I bump into some insect outside the house, I don´t mind because I find it as something normal. But! If I meet some insect (any insect) indoor.... well, I will become a hysterical woman. We have nets fastened on the windows to protect us against the insect but from time to time something slides in.
Once evening I was sitting on the sofa and watching TV. And suddenly I saw something black on my chandelier. I looked carefully and it was a BUG sitting on my beloved chandelier! It was about 3cm long, black and ugly. Perhaps it noticed that I noticed it and it started to fly around the chandelier! And I started to be hysterical. Luckily, I had an insecticide quite close, so I took it and started to chased the bug. But when I first sprayed on it, it started to behave more weird than bugs normaly do, and flied over me! It made me even more hysterical and I began to spray around me furiously.
After a while I was running out the insecticide and was standing in the middle of a poisoned lethal cloud. So I forced myself to calm down for a while and looked around. And the bug was sitting on my wall. My wonderful wall! As I was ran out the insecticide I grabbed the insecticide can strongly, swung and hit the bug with it. And killed it.
But there was another problem - who would clean away the little corpse? I detested it even it was dead. I had to call my mum to carry it away. And because it was the late evening I had to wait until morning to get rid of it.....
When I told about it to my sister she was almost crying from laugh. As well as the others around:-) But a while ago we were talking via ICQ and we have realized we have more things in common than we used to think.
My brother-in-law wasn´t at home so my sister and her beautiful daughter (Small one) were home alone. They were playing with toys in Smallone´s room when suddenly something flied over their heads. Poor Smallone started to cry and shake because she´d taken fright. My sister started to calm her and brought the insecticide.
They were waiting what it would be and surprisingly it flow over their head again. It was a big green flying LOCUST! My sister started to be hysterical and sprayed everywhere around her protecting the Smallone from the insecticide as well as from the locust. Finally she hit the locust with the spray and it fell down to the ground. But it was still moving a bit so my brave sister sprayed on it as long as it was moving. In fact, she drowned it in the insecticide.
Then she took the Smallone, close the door and now she is waiting for my brother-in-law to clean the corpse and for tomorrow to put a half of Smallone´s teddies to the washing machine (they are soaked up with the insecticide).
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On Wednesday there was an auction in Derby and the Queen Victoria´s knickers were auction off for 4.500 pounds. Now it belongs to some Canadian.
The cotton handmade knickers are from 90s of 19. century and have girth of 127cm. It has a monogram inwrought on it says VR (Victoria Regina) and there is also a royal emblem. The knickers were in possession of Victoria´s lady at court.
Don´t you think this is an information of the day?:-) It is fun what could be auction off.
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These songs are quite suitable for this post:-) The first one is The Power of Orange Knickers by Tori Amos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayh_wvbPSZ8&feature=related
and the other is Mosquito Song by Queens of the Stone Age:

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