New year is coming. And it makes me summarize everything what happened in 2011. The year of Rabbit, the year of huge disillusionments when I lost a part of my enthusiasm and my belief in people. Difficult times. But everything happens on some purpose. It must be so. Because without difficult times we probably could not see the good so clearly, and all things (even the bad ones) lead us to the point we are standing at now.
I read somewhere that people should listen to their intuition more, they should pay attention to all those small hints and try to connect them with their everyday reality. 2011 was also a year when I came back to books I could not have read in the past. They were boring for me. Now I know that I did not understand them as I had not had the proper experience. I was simply too young when I was trying to read them (I was about twelve).
So in a year of Rabbit I was able to identify with Simon and a loss of innocence in Lord of the Flies, Great Gatsby helped me to understand, and some short stories by Faulkner and early short stories by Hemingway just fitted to my 2011 mood. Those books were my 2011 intuition, they were the symbols of my everyday reality.
It is said that after some time one´s brain is able to push the bad memories away and only the good ones remain. So I hope that once I will get my lost enthusiasm and belief in people again. On the other hand how can you stop growing up?
Every cloud has a silver lining. And 2011 was also a year of discoveries, a year when I realised that the people around you matter once again. And that I have some good friends. Their weird, but they are mine. I also have a good job, which is nice. And I have a great family. Again - they are sometimes weird, but they are mine and they supported me so much that I probably will not be ever able to pay them back.
This year has been like being on a roller coaster. And not only for me. Yesterday a friend of mine wrote me an e-mail where she was wishing me everything good for the next year and I wished her the same and I asked her how she was. My friend answered that she was not fine but it could be much worse. And she told me about two children I was teaching two years ago that their mother died a week before Christmas. And I told her about my sister´s friend whose baby is seriously ill and is suffering a lot. And we both agreed that in spite of the fact our problems were damaging us, they could be worse and we had to be grateful they had been not.
As I have said before. Last year was full of changes, I do not remember any other year like that. A lot of people around me got married, a lot of my friends gave a birth to their first baby. Many couples also broke up. For some people it was a good year, for some it was a bad year. But usually nothing between. So let´s say that it was a weird year and I hope the next one will be more calm and peaceful.