There are people I cannot get rid of at all. If you allow somebody to see the real you, to come too close, it is not easy to shut that door. And with my nature when I could be stubborn as hell, when I tell myself "It will work, it has to work, even if it kills me, it will work". Well, it is not agreeable for me to close any of those doors. But where is the line between "let´s give it more time and it will work" and "it is a waste of time, start a new thing". Sometimes I don´t know where that line lies.
So I know the friend of mine is right. She is a very clever woman. I am like a balloon and she is the string which holds me gently near the ground. I believe that people are good in general. That there must be something nice and worthy in everyone (ok, I don´t talk about serial killers or anybody who does any harm to a child, etc.).
I can see people´s faults, of course. But I also can see their merits and strengths and these shine for me more than their imperfections. The problem is that I can see that light but those people are sometimes afraid or maybe lazy to see it in themselves. Even if they make any mistake it is ok if they try to fix it, nobody´s perfect, I can still see their radiance. There is no strenght like the strenght of correcting our mistakes. For some weird reasons I believe that the way you treat people, the way they should treat you. Of course, I am sometimes surprised that it doesn´t work this way. As I said before, I am a kind of balloon, flying high above the sky...
And today my friend told me very tenderly and considerately that some people are different. She explained me the people are bad. And sometimes evil. And that even if I like them, it needn´t mean they like me the same way. And that I should treat them the way they treat me, not the opposite. Not to be nice and open-hearted and expecting them to be the same. And then she said that sentence: "People come, people leave, so let them go."
I know what she meant to say.
But. People come. And some of them have the power to change something. Something in you, influence you, influence looking on yourself or events around you. Some of them are smart and sharp, with a great sence of humour, and you find them really interesting and you enjoy being around them just because there are so many things you have in common or even more things you can learn from them. They have the power to push you somewhere else. And finally there are some people who share the same scars with you. And even these people changed and let you down, the scars are still there. You cannot erase them. They connect you.
So. People leave. Maybe to understand why they do so, makes their going away a bit easier. And maybe you are not important for them, maybe you haven´t changed anything in them. Maybe you are not interesting enough. And maybe they just used you and the scar is something they would like to forget as soon as possible. And maybe your behaviour patterns and seeing of reality is simply different. Who knows. But nothing is as difficult as letting go somebody you like, or even love.
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