Scotland

I have never been to Scotland. But I have always wanted to visit this country. One of my friends has been working there for a few months and he keeps me posted about all wonderful things he has already seen, about all those wonderful (and funny) people he has met. And he´s also sent me some photos so far. Wonderful. I love the nature there. Have I mentioned it´s wonderful?
Ok, Scotland... love the nature.
While I was browsing through the internet I found the following poem. It makes me laugh. A lot. And it´s wonderful as much as Scotland must be.

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Scotland

I want to go to Scotland
I want to find a man
with hairy legs and chest and face
no blond, blue eyes and tan
with muscles on his muscles
a strapping kind of lad
with kilt and great big sporran
that would make me glad!

I want to go to Scotland
I've been practising the dances
I can fling my leg right up to here
that should improve my chances
I do a real mean highland fling
I can strathspey, jig and reel
What I may lack in timing though
I make up for in feel

I want to go to Scotland
right to the northern bits
I know I'll freeze my bum off
and probably my tits
I'd certainly be noticed
that funny Aussie lass
who came to Scotland for a man
and left without her ass

I want to go to Scotland
Billy Connolly's so great
if just half the lads are like that
I'm sure to find a mate
and if he turns out boring
and has no sense of fun
I'll just pop over to Ireland
I'm not fussy where he's from

I want to go to Scotland
to roll among the heather
with Geordie, Bill or Robbie
or Glen or Tom ...whoever!
I want to meet the real men
The ones who play bagpipes
who breathe through nose & ears as well
that could keep me up all night!

I want to go to Scotland
to find my true soul mate
I hope they've not all moved away
I'm probably too late
I'd love to marry a Scottish man
and live inside a castle
though when I think of cleaning the thing
It's probably not worth the hassle

I want to go to Scotland
I'll go sometime this year
although I need to work a while
on letting go of fear
it's not the cold that scares me
colder places I have felt
I'm more afraid of what I'll find
when I look under their kilt

I've heard they keep their weapons there
a dagger, spear or club
and they keep them polished, shiny
and they'll offer you a rub
I don't think I could handle it
the pressure I mean, the fear...
No, I think I'll settle for an Aussie Boy
and stay put over here.


Copyright; Arcadia Flynn