Friday, 29 October 2010

Damn, Where Have I Been?

It was a long break from blogging. I stopped teaching at the primary school. And I have started to run my own business with a friend of mine. I still teach at the language school. I still teach the elementary students and I am sure my English is going to... well, sometimes I think my English is gone for a walk somewhere very far away. But I hope I will be able to bring it back.
And three days ago it was Smallone´s four birthday. Me and my sister were quite moved and misty-eyed while looking at some old photographs and watching videos where both of us were teaching Smallone to talk. It wasn´t so long ago. Two years are not a long time. But when I was watching it, it seemed to be billion years ago.
Do you know the feeling when you look back and it appears that there is nothing before some event or some events? That everything important happens after those things. That after these events your life starts. Or changes. Or something like that.
Well, Smallone is four now. She is a big girl. She got her first hangbag for the birthday because she had desperately needed it, of course. I got her a red slide because I think every small girl needs one. Smallone´s mother probably will put some very nasty spell on me as she is still trying to figure out where they are going to store this gorgeous but not very small slide. But I hope the spell´s not going to take a long time as I am sure she loves me. And Smallone is happy. And that´s everything I need to know.
(my sister and Smallone)

By the way, my sister (Smallone´s mother) is a great person. Have I mentioned her here before? I am sure I have, but these days have proved more than anytime else that she is the greatest sister I could imagine.
The changes in my life (the important ones, the ones that have influenced me till today) started somewhen in December last year. And from time to time I say to myself "Where was I before that December? Who was I?" because I am not that person any more. I have grown up in so many ways. I have realised so many things about me I didn´t see before.

(me and one-eyed Smallone)

I have started to write short stories and playlets and poems. I always write a lot. Long letters,e-mails and essays and stuff like that. But till that December it´s been like opening some hidden box in my mind. When I was at high school one friend of mine asked me to write 12 short stories for his birthday. He said "When you become a famous writer, I will sell them and be very rich". I wrote them but never gave them to him. Now they are lost, but I know they were quite awful, by the way. I didn´t give them to him because I knew they were not good enough. I wasn´t ready to write things like those. Now I am. And I am enjoying it a lot.


kryssie's daily photo said...

Welcome back! Believe me before you know it Smallone will be 19 and in college. My son is 19 now and is away at school. My heartaches with empty nest syndrome at times. It seems at times he doesn't need me anymore. He arranges his own trips into NYC and Philly on his own. He keeps his grades up without me nagging, and cooks for himself and his girlfriend. BUT, every so often I get a call that he needs something and I'm glad to be of service. Enjoy Smallone as much as you can now.

Namnet said...

I understand what you mean. Everytime I look at Smallone I think for myself: "Gosh, she has grown again! Stop!"
A few minutes ago my sister called me that Smallone wants to stay with me for a day or two, sleep over night and enjoy herself with me. And I am really happy and enjoying these times, because I know it won´t last forever. The time will come when she would spend a day rather with her friend or boyfriend than with her favourite aunt:-)