Thursday, 25 March 2010

Are You Visible?

Just right now I am sitting in the heart of the primary school I teach at. And I am waiting for a kind of celebration. We are celebrating the Teachers´ Day. Yes, it exists. That means we come together in a local restaurant (not just teachers but also cooks, and other school stuff) and we have dinner and then we gossip (about people I don´t know and about their "problems" I don´t care about at all). And it is usually something I don´t like much. These dinner parties. As I don´t see these people as my friends. Their my colleagues and that´s all. We are way too much different (but if you remember when I mentioned a new colleague in September - well, she is a very nice woman and I like her).
Even I see them in this way I have been surprised many times that they don´t know many things about me. I have been teaching here for almost six years (with small break) and they don´t know. So either I am quite uncommunicative or they don´t pay much attention to the details (and I bet the second option is right).
For example I love honey and I season tea with it. I put a spoon of it to every cup of tea I make for myself, I don´t use sugar. My working days here starts quite the same - I prepare a cup of nice tea with honey. And it is perhaps a month ago, I was making my morning tea and one of my colleague was like:
she: "So it is your honey in the cupboard? I don´t know you like it."
me: "Well, yes, it is. And yes, I do. I have been seasoning the tea with honey since... ever, I suppose."
she: "Really? I haven´t noticed."
And I know what kinds of tea all of my colleagues like drinking. And I know if they put some sugar in it or not. I even know if they like coffee and what kind of coffee they like. I even know what cups they drink it from.
And about two weeks ago I was talking to other colleague:
me: "I really need a haircut. My hair has started to flutter too much and I can´t make them understood that I am the boss, not them."
she: "Try to brush them not comb them. Maybe it will help."
me: "Comb? Brush? No way. I neither brush nor comb my hair. If I did so, my hair would look like an afro."
she: "So why have you had your hair permed?"
me: "Permed? I don´t have permed hair. These bloody curls are mine."
she: "Really? I always thought you´ve got permed hair."
And I´ve started to think that is it only me who pay attention to the details, to those small things? I mean how it is possible not to know a person you´ve been working with for almost six years? Remember that "new" colleague? She has been working here just since February and maybe she knows more about me that those others. So it is me, or them? I don´t know. I am just wondering if they really see me. And maybe I don´t want them to see me. Maybe I know who their are and am hiding a bit. Maybe. And maybe they just don´t care. Which is quite sad.

1 comment:

VioletSky said...

This is an interesting post. And something I have been thinking about lately. I've noticed that people often comment on my hair ("have you done something different with your hair?" no, says I, I just washed it though.) And then there is the "you've lost weight, you look great" even though I have actually gained over 20lbs in the last year.
Somehow, I do feel a little insulted at this inattention to detail.